Rereading

I just read through some of my old posts, and boy, was I one stressed, overextended, panicking kid in 11th grade. I would like to think that I have definitely matured from last year (as far as my outlook on life). My schoolwork is slightly easier, but think that my methods for managing stress are more effective.

On my old posts, I always made lists of the college/school related things that I needed to do. Now, I will make a list of what I have done.

1) Yes, Meredith, you did pass the ACT and you did recieve a good score. Not as high as you would have liked, but higher than most of the people in the United States.

2) My Common Application is finished and I have sent it into 4 schools. I have 8 to go.

3) I have taken my three subject tests and have sent them to all of my schools.

4) I received the Paderewski Award in piano and had a very successful recital. Everyone commented on how good I was =)

5) I am continuing to run and exercise despite cross country's termination.

6) I am getting to hang out with my friends a lot more and getting to know people outside of my group better than before.

7) No, Meredith, you are not going to be in the top ten of your high school class like you wanted. But you have worked hard, and just continue to do so until the end. Never give up.

~M

Pic: Taken in Los Angeles, CA

waaahhh

I took an impossible American Government quiz, and then found out that I literally failed my Physics test. GREAT DAY.


I did study. For both. Alot.


I also filled out a survey for the Newspaper staff and they asked me if I had a blog. I said yes, and now they want to interview me....I am NOT going to reveal my URL. No wayyyy!

classy.

I DID IT!

I DID IT.
I DID IT.
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got my ACT scores back, and I am now in the range for ALL of my colleges.





Life is good.
Thank you, God =)

Model for a Day

I was selected to do a high fashion photoshoot for a photographer and makeup artist who want to expand their portfolio!

I arrived with two bags of clothes and about 20 hangers that contained various dresses that I have collected from my highschool dances.

Hair and Makeup for the first "Covergirl" shot in which I was to imitate Liv Tyler's ad for a perfume (?) took 1:30 minutes. It didn't feel that long though! Luckily, my friend arrived for her time (she was chosen too!) and we talked.

The fake eyelashes and makeup looked AMAZING. I seriously felt beautiful and like I could take on the world. That series of pictures in my black prom dress from last year were ok...I need to learn to put more expression in my eyes/get skinner..hahaha(like that can happen...)

The last shoot was my favorite--I had on dark gray eye-makeup and it was a mod-natural look. They made me wear a corset which was really weird...it didn't fit, but oh well.

I feel fortunate to have taken part in the inner workings of the fashion, photography, and makeup industry! I might not ever model again, but I certainly had an awesome time and my confidence got a boost.

I am a Senior.

Tuesday got off to a semi-lackluster start.
Today was better.

1st semester courses:

AP English Literature - Summer reading included Emma, Dubliners, Children of Men, A Thousand Splendid Suns - The teacher seems pretty cool. We are her only period of the day!

AP European History - I've never taken an AP history before, but the teacher is extremely smart and provides a lot of extra insight. It will be a challenge, but fun.

Calculus - Definitely not as fun as Precalculus. I loved Precalculus.

Microbiology - It is going to be very interesting! On the 2nd day of class, we made our own agar and are going to be swabbing the school to grow microbes and archaebacteria!

Physics - The teacher started off giving us difficult problems in which we must use our reasoning skills. I am glad that I took AP Chem last year because I know some of the conversions =) Such as how many molecules are in a mole....6.022 X 10^23 baby!!!

American Government - It is going to take some work --lots of reading/vocab/papers, but I will like it. The teacher tried to convince me to take AP. I really do want to, I just have a bunch of extracurriculars and I don't want to overextend myself.

Last Day of Summer.

Tonight is the last night of summer.
Tomorrow I begin my senior year of high school.

I am not quite sure what to think--the excitement of making it the best year ever coupled with the knowledge of essays and projects and college applications creates a direct dichotomy.

Only time will tell.

flowery

Favourites

I added http://www.commonapp.org/ to my favourites on my internet browser. God, HELP ME!

what, a blog?

I should be finishing my resume and filling out the common app. but I love PROCRASTINATION! ...not.


ACT - not as high as I hoped :S Why is it that I do not test well? I know people whose GPA' are half of mine, yet they score higher on standardized tests. blahhahhhh.

The competition to get into schools is so stressful, especially since my school (my grade especially) is so freaking competitive.

Youtube - I am not sure what I think of YT at the moment. I feel as though my channel is going nowhere because I as a vlogger/filmaker/whateveryoucallit have no more ideas, do not care to put them into motion, and quite frankly, I am boring and don't have the "it" factor. Meanwhile, I have to start thinking about what I really want for the future.... first college and majors/minors, then Medical School? Law School? Someone helpeee meee! Career advice anyone???

Worries

As writing and lists are therapeutic to me, I think I shall expel my thoughts.

1) My ankle has been hurting for a year. I just went to the doctor, and it could be fractured. I might need a boot and surgery.

2) I have the ACT on Saturday. If I score a 32 or higher, I will be finished for life.

3) I feel guilty for using the computer now. I am supposed to be reading the newspaper or the Economist or Newsweek or Time or literary works.

4) Because of the pain in my ankle, I am unable to run. Naturally, I am not at a point in time where I have high self-esteem.

...

People dissapoint me.

Afterthoughts

I just read my last blog post and it was pretty much solid negativity. I have so much to be thankful for and grades and GPAs and worrying should never, ever overshadow my blessings.

sometimes...

3 AP exams
3 regular exams
3 subject tests
1 ACT

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I can't think. I can't work. I can't focus.

I wanted so badly to be in the top ten of my class, but I do not think that I will make it. I know this shouldn't be a big deal--my GPA is very good and I will have had 6 AP classes and 6 honors, but I just feel like I have let myself down--and I still have a year left.

Youtube. Facebook. Dailybooth. Blogspot. everything distracts me.

Everything seems to obstruct my path to excellence, yet it is my own fault. My own fault not only for getting of track but also my own fault for caring so much. Why do I care so much? Ten years from now none of this will even matter. They are just grades, they don't define me.

Sometimes I think private prep school has aided in my paranoia and self-obstructive thoughts. The pressure and drive to be perfect sometimes just gets to me. When I can't be perfect I am unhappy.

I am not sure of the solution to this--as I am still discovering myself--but I do know that something needs to change. I need to manage my time better, have a better outlook on life, and know that I am going to be successful no matter what ACT grade I get or potential 2 I will receive on my AP chemistry exam.

I guess that I should stop with self pity and get on my critical analysis and synthesis of Tobias Wolff's Old School, Truman Capote's short stories, and the Literary Research Library's sources.

One week.

4 tests.
3 quizzes.
1 project.
1 paper.
one week.

How am I expected to do everything to the best of my ability?

Every Hour

Every hour of my whole weekend is planned.

Sat.
10-12:30
1-3
3-5
6-11:30

Sun.
8:20-10:00
10:00-4:00
4:00-6:00

All are different activities. This schedule is similar to my next 4 weekends :S

Scheduleeee!

This year, I've had ridiculous amounts of homework, but I just turned in my new schedule, and I think I am going to be a lot happier because I got to design my own =)

2008-2009
-Precalculus
-American History
-Biblical Literature (1st sem.)/Anatomy and Physiology (2nd sem.)
-AP Spanish V
-AP English III
-AP Chemistry (ahhhhh!)

2009-2010
- Calculus
-Government (1) /AP Economics (2)
-Forensic Chemistry (1) / PreMedicinal Studies (2)
-Oceanography (1) / Web site design (2)
-Physics
-AP English Literature IV

silent sighing

System weary.
Sanity fading.
I want pizza.

Sick but not sick.

I have a pounding headache.
I feel like I am going to throw up.
I can feel my heartbeat.
I do not have a fever; Nor am I sick.

Oh, the pleasures of stress.

college visit and stuff.

I got back earlier today from visiting a certain university that my parents said I would like. Of course, I was skeptical b/c it was their alma mater and they absolutely loved it...BUT...I surprisingly really liked it. It has about 8,000 students with brand new facilities and tons of majors! It is also located in a large city, not as big of a metropolitan city as where I am now, but close. Oh, and I think that I could definitely get in =)

possibilities:
Pre-Med
Business
Spanish

If you are reading this, I might be your surgeon one day!

Pattern: I write on my blog when I am procrastinating.

alsooo, to the MASSIVE amount of people that read this: follow me on dailybooth. Search skunkmoney. I haven't posted a picture yet, but I will!

valenreseartravel.

Today was Valentine's Day, obviously, and I my parents and I went to the mall to pick out a graduation ring. I couldn't help but notice all of the happy couples shopping for jewelry and having coffee, etc. It's days like these that I think, "Hey. A boyfriend would be nice." I am not one of those people that mope around though --I am highly independent and get along with myself great and love being single, but ya know, girls <3 diamonds, so yeah ;)

Also, I am working on a research paper over a verrrry controversial topic, so I won't say the name b/c it might cause some "hate" mail, but the point is that I do not like writing research papers. With the databases (periodicals/newspapers/scholarly journals), books, flyers, interviews, etc, it get pretty messy and time consuming.

Ahhh, I also have to pack for tomorrow b/c we are taking a road trip to look at a certain college in a certain city that a certain person is interested in.

Meanwhile, I got my SAT scores back......let's just say I was very dissapointed. I've done no "prep" but I wish I was better at standardized tests b/c they are such a big deal and determine our future and scholarship money. Idk, I have a good GPA so we'll see. I can just feel the heat.

On Thursday I had:
-AP Spanish Test
-AP Spanish Paper
-History Test
-History Research Paper outline
- Anatomy and Physiology Quiz
-AP English Paper due (which I blogged about a little earlier)

asdfjkl;asdfjk;l. I wanted to post a picture but for some reason my new camera's files are not compatible with photoshop. pfffft.

peace<3
mere

waaaaaa!

BLAHHHHH. WRITER'S BLOCK, WRITER'S BLOCK.

American topic --> wanderlust --> no signal. brain fail. - wanderlust travel - nada.zip.nobueno. - whatdoido whatdoido? - email.Mr. R. beg for help. - possibly no help available. - travel? experience? - nothing - paragraphs. bad form. no connectivity - bad grade coming - may day may day.

travel - moving spirit.
May 1 moving day.
road trip.
Huck Finn.

Fin.

tidbit

People keep asking me what I want to do with my life and where I want to college........I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!

I am trying to come up with ideas....

Possible tracks:
1. Major in business w/ minor in spanish while taking pre-med. --> radiologist
2. Med school --> pediatrician/dermatologist
3. biology/chemistry/biochemistry --> patent lawyer
4. double major in business & Spanish/minor in film

There are absolutely too many choices. Idk what I am going to do when I get there. I will probably change my major 4 or 5 times!

stress.

~M

Pump that Iron baby!

So I've been working out this whole week. I haven't been just running for 30 minutes, but running/biking/ellipticalling (word?) for 45 min. to 1 hour and then I lift weights and do crunches and the like. When I stop the treadmill, I probably look like a strawberry, am sweating like crazy, and am breathing really heavily so everyone just kind of stares at me.

Typically, I do not like it when people stare at me, but for some reason, I feel a sense of accomplishment. When I played club soccer, I was in tip-top shape, and now I am trying to balance hard exercise with school.

I feel a lot more confident and actually can focus better. It is AMAZING! I may not necessarily be turning into the skinny-minny that I wish I was, but that is impossible for my body type b/c of my short, dense muscles. I am rather envious of people with long and lean muscles, but alot of the times those are the people who are naturally skinny, so poo!

N z ways, enough complaining. I actually don't think I would find pleasure in not having to workout b/c of the wonderful endorphins afterwards =)

I do have some advice for people who want to start working out -- The hardest part is driving to the gym and getting started. Once you are there, you are surrounded by people who care about fitness, their body, and improving their lifestyle, so the motivation just comes.

note to self: KEEP IT UP DUDEEE.

Deletion

The past few weeks I've deleted more blogs than I have written.
Just an FYI there for my personal future reference.

All of my friends are going to see Mall Cop tonight. The choice was between The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Mall Cop, and they chose Mall Cop. I personally don't want to see Mall Cop because Mall Cop is not an example of cinematography that is worth 10 dollars. Oh Mall Cop, I will meet you at Blockbuster.

I've realized that none of my blogs during the year are happy and positive and fun to read. Doom on fun. That is all that I have to say. I'm not creative right now, err, sorry?

Wow. This is basically like communicating to myself because I cannot talk to myself. weird.