sometimes...

3 AP exams
3 regular exams
3 subject tests
1 ACT

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I can't think. I can't work. I can't focus.

I wanted so badly to be in the top ten of my class, but I do not think that I will make it. I know this shouldn't be a big deal--my GPA is very good and I will have had 6 AP classes and 6 honors, but I just feel like I have let myself down--and I still have a year left.

Youtube. Facebook. Dailybooth. Blogspot. everything distracts me.

Everything seems to obstruct my path to excellence, yet it is my own fault. My own fault not only for getting of track but also my own fault for caring so much. Why do I care so much? Ten years from now none of this will even matter. They are just grades, they don't define me.

Sometimes I think private prep school has aided in my paranoia and self-obstructive thoughts. The pressure and drive to be perfect sometimes just gets to me. When I can't be perfect I am unhappy.

I am not sure of the solution to this--as I am still discovering myself--but I do know that something needs to change. I need to manage my time better, have a better outlook on life, and know that I am going to be successful no matter what ACT grade I get or potential 2 I will receive on my AP chemistry exam.

I guess that I should stop with self pity and get on my critical analysis and synthesis of Tobias Wolff's Old School, Truman Capote's short stories, and the Literary Research Library's sources.