Human Security

It's been what? A year? A little less than a year? And I just now remembered that I have a blog. I read through a few old posts, which was fun because I could see what I was thinking at the time and what was important to me. I am currently couch surfing at Cal Poly in SLO. Aka, I am on a love sofa and am going to crash here for the night before heading to Sacramento tomorrow.

Life is good. Life is short. I'm currently searching for internships and worried about how I haven't made invitations for Scholarship Dinner or applied to enough internships.

Also, the title of my blogpost is unrelated--I was going to think of a clever title but my computer nicely autocorrected it to my last paper title, a title that will not be posted in its entirety in the case that in can be traced.

I need to get ready for bed, though. Long day of driving ahead. Oh, and internship hunting. I feel like such a grown-up--I'm not a teenager anymore, literally. Maybe I'll write an awe-inspiring post on what I've learned this year (it has been a lot) in which I analyze and commentate on the complexities of life.

xoxo

M

Bucket List

So everyone makes a bucket list at some point. I am going to make mine now and will have to add more things later as I think of them. I should be going to bed (I almost forgot I had work in the morning), but I feel that this is suddenly more important.

without further ado:

write a novel

successful job that I love

work hard party hard

eurotrip while I am still young enough to have the full experience

bomb internships

MBA, possibly abroad

have a family

happy marriage

british columbia

yellowstone

grand canyon

insane New York trip

that's it. Ironically, the only thing I REALLY want is: health, happiness, and success in something that I love. I could deal with not traveling or doing other things.

my bucket list is mainly geared to achieving a certain state of mind. What that state of mind is, I am not sure.

I want to be content.

I want to be happy.

Forgotten

Wow.

I forgot that I had a blog until just now. It's funny how people seem to nonchalantly abandon these things, then seemingly rediscover them months later. One post. Maybe one more. To be forgotten again.

This trend is not unlike that of unfulfilled promises to oneself. You remember them for a second in complete clarity, but a day later, they are stored again in the brain, ready to become a recycled idea in a few months.

It's kind of depressing.

Not really.

I'm just trying to be melodramatic--I secretly wish that I was a phenomenal blogger whose prose evoked impassioned emotions. Maybe one day.

Change is a Comin'

Wahhhh.

I've had a horrible headache all day. I think it is because I am stressed.

I was going through my closet last night and Viva la Vida by Coldplay came on. I had tears in my eyes for a few moments. Once I leave for college, I can never experience home like I have known--I will be a stranger in my own house. I will never live there again (hopefully...I want a job after college), and I don't know if I will even live in the same state as my family.

So many changes, so many opportunities, so little time left in a familiar world.

It just hit me...

that I am not coming back home until mid-December.

Feeling Mediocre

As copied from my dailybooth picture:

heart slowing

shortness of breath

black on the edges

dead

I almost fainted today as I was sifting through my closet looking for Rush clothes. I don't know if I should attribute it to poor health, anemia, or a panic attack.

Today, I saw one of my good friends and we talked a lot about what girls normally talk about. No explanation necessary. I had a great day, yet I sit at home right now tired and in a lousy mood. The lousy mood is most likely induced from my laborious summer reading book. I feel guilty in saying that it is laborious (and thus implying I do not like it) because it concerns the Holocaust, but it is the style in which the book is written--it is exhausting! The narrator's many descriptions and small opinionated tirades make seamless reading difficult. I found myself reading 10 pages, stopping by Facebook, Youtube, Dailybooth, the like, and then continuing on my quest to reach page 75. The book has 234 pages, I think, so I have a long way to go...by next Sunday. I also have to read 30 pages for my Freshman seminar.

Tomorrow's agenda:

-Call my grandmother

-Read 75 more pages

-Run on the treadmill to test my new tennis shoes

-Plan sorority outfits

-Decide if I should add another class...which would put me at 18 hours for the semester.

buenas noches,

~meredith

I have a blog?

I forgot that I had a blog.

I went to Germany, and it was INCREDIBLE. I love it so much, and I met some amazing people. I was only there for a week, and it went too fast. The countryside was so gorgeous--rolling hills with vibrant green grass and stealthy trees. Also, everywhere you go in Germany, there is history--there is a purpose behind everything. Here, people arbitrarily build things for profit/business/personal gain/whatever...not much history. I want to go to either Munich or Berlin to study, and I will hopefully learn German. However, German is supposedly difficult for English-speaking people because it is not Latin-based. Oh well. Who knows.

Cheesy saying: Who knows what the future will hold.

~meredith